A friend of mine and his wife have guided hunters and anglers all over Canada and South America. And I’m very excited that my friend is now writing a book of his best stories. He’s been sending me some of the chapters as he wrote them, and I was surprised recently to receive a chapter about his experiences in outhouses. And his stories are very funny.
He inspired me to write some of my favorite outhouse stories. And if you have some favorite outhouse stories too, I would love to have you send them to me with permission to share them in this column. Please email your stories to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Now, here are three of my favorite outhouse stories.
When I was a kid my aunt and uncle had a camp at the north end of Moosehead lake. One time my family was staying in that camp when I headed out to the outhouse. Just before I got there, I looked inside and spotted a bear.
I quickly decided I really did not have to go, and I ran back into the camp and told dad and he went out to deal with the bear.
At our camp on Nesowadnahunk Lake, we have a bathroom. But because there is no water in the winter, we also have an outhouse in back of camp on the edge of the woods. Dad always preferred the outhouse and he would leave the door open so he could enjoy the view out over the lake. He even wrote a short column about the outhouse which is still posted on the wall there.
My other outhouse story is not really about an outhouse, it’s about a portable toilet. When my friend Les Priest and I were rafting and fishing the Karluc River on Kodiac Island in Alaska, every evening after our tents had been set up, our guides put our portable toilet out in the bushes.
One morning I had just finished my business and was standing up, pulling up my pants, when I glanced behind me and saw a giant bear walking by about 10 yards away.
If that bear had walked by in front of me while I was sitting on the toilet, I would not have had to go to the bathroom for a week!