Yes indeed, we’ve gone hog wild out here in Mount Vernon. It is always gratifying to know our daily newspaper is taking a real interest in local affairs out this way, and we’re glad you appreciated the serious nature of our problem, placing it on the front page of your January 18 edition.
The headline, “Wild Hogs Cause Stink,” was somewhat incorrect, however, because pigs do not stink. They’re very neat and clean actually. But you city slickers wouldn’t be expected to know that.
We do have other equally serious problems which you may be interested in covering now that you’ve discovered our potential for splashy news stories. Property taxes are threatening to get out of hand, for instance, and we have at least one unusual approach to solving this pesky problem.
Taking note that the Fish and Wildlife Department made a whopping $600,000 on this year’s state duck stamp, we’re considering issuing a town pig stamp, and sponsoring a limited one-week hunt at the end of February. We’ll be real tired of those loose pigs by then, and they might’s well help some needy families get through the rest of a tough winter.
We’d be interested to know what you city folks think of this idea. Would you be interested in hunting pigs? Or would you buy the pig stamp just to add to your stamp collections? What’s the going rate for these things?
To keep the interest up, we’ve arranged another story for you next week. We’ve asked Ray Hall to loose some cows, and they’ll be stampeding through the village at 2 pm Wednesday afternoon. Please station your reporter and photographer in the middle of the intersection in front of the country store. You’ll get a real fine close-up photo for Thursday’s front page.
Our rescue squad will be on hand to administer assistance should your people get too much of a close-up. Looking forward to seeing you on Wednesday.
George A. Smith
Selectman, Mount Vernon